I was never the type of a girl to be open about my true feelings and share my heart. As a teenager in high school and as a young lady in college, I HATED being vulnerable. I always saw it as a weakness, making it easy for the enemy to attack and take advantage of me. Whenever I was fighting a battle, whether it be within myself, school, or relationships, I never let anyone know how I truly felt about something. Although I would wear my heart on my sleeve by showing everyone if I was upset or annoyed, I still never opened up about what it was that truly bothered me.
So what did I do? I wrote about it. I wrote about it all in a journal. I put it all in black and white. Writing was and still is my way of coping with my unbalanced emotions from time to time. It helps me get the right words out that I can’t seem to speak while being face to face with another individual. Most of all, it helps me come to my senses and keeps me sane. The more I wrote, the better I would feel about situations, and the better I would feel about myself.
For years I was told that I should go public with my writing pieces and share them with the world, but again… being vulnerable was something I could never allow myself to be. If I hated being vulnerable with the people closest to me, how could I have possibly opened up to the world, let alone with other individuals I have never met before? Not only that, I wrote because I wanted to see my heart, my thoughts, and my emotions on paper. They were not for anyone else to see. I read my poetry and my testimonies because I wanted to feel and hear myself overcome what seemed to be some of the hardest battles I ever had to fight. They were not for anyone else to read.
As I have matured from a young lady into now a young woman, I realize and understand that being vulnerable is not always such a bad thing, but in fact is the most beautiful thing a human being can ever be. I believe that showing vulnerability means that you care about staying true to yourself while being true and honest to others. It is because of my writing, that I no longer hold in anger, frustration, sadness, hurt, and what may or may not feel like betrayal. It is because of my writing, that I no longer lie to myself about how I feel by not ignoring what my heart is telling me. Most of all, it is because of my writing, that I have learned how to accept myself for who I am, whether others like it or not.
I love easy, I fall hard, I care for many, I am loyal until the end, and I am trustworthy. Like my writing has inspired me, I want it to inspire everyone else. I want it to inspire…YOU. I want it to inspire US. Let’s laugh together, let’s cry together, let’s yell and scream together, let’s understand ourselves together, and let’s accept ourselves and love ourselves together. This blog is not just for me, but it is also for you. My name is Vashti, and I am your mentor. I am here to help. Welcome to my blog.