The Coming of Age

The Diary of a Military Wife ~ The Love Story

He won’t admit it, but he sent the first two messages. Yeah, the man I call my husband now. Believe it or not, we met on POF (Plenty of Fish)! I was so reluctant to say anything back to him because he was fine, and girl, I do mean fine! Tall, dark, handsome, and most of all…MILITARY! All I kept thinking, “this motherfucker is just too good to be true and he ain’t shit,” all because I have had such terrible experiences with military men in all branches. Now, how I got involved in the military life? I have no clue, considering the fact that no one close to me in family is associated with the military at all. I guess it is just safe to say, I met a man who saw the true beauty in me, who knew how to handle me, loved me through my flaws and all, and fell in love with him. He just so happened to be a Marine. 

Shawn and I dated for two years before we got married, and that is two years of long distance. We met in the Fall of 2015, he lived in California where he was stationed on Camp Pendleton, and I lived in a small town in Pennsylvania, where I worked full-time as Member Representative at Planet Fitness, part-time as Para-educator, and part-time as a hostess at Olive Garden. Yeaaah….I was a bit of hustler, I liked earning and having my own money.  I had graduated from college prior to  meeting him in the Spring, May of 2015. 

I graduated with a Bachelor’s in Communications and Journalism. I was so determined to become a radio personality and/or reporter. I applied to jobs any and every where you could think of and I only got one interview, that one interview in which I was more than confident in, and I did not get a job offer. Months after trying, I kind of just gave up. I had just gotten out of a few bad relationships, with both men and women. Now to top it all with that, the rejection of a dream job! I believe it was the first time I have ever felt some sort of defeat.

I did not let that feeling of defeat break me down however, even though I felt like I wanted to, I was not ready to give up on my dream career. I still had some drive in me to try again…except, maybe this time I went from the pan to the fire with this one. I had just a little too much ambition and drive. In November 2015, I made the decision to move to California. My intention was to try and pursue my journalism career in San Diego due to the much bigger market. In other words, there were a lot more broadcasting opportunities out there than there were where I lived. I made arrangements to live with an aunt and uncle, and even had a part-time job lined up so that way I was not entirely unemployed and living off of my aunt and uncle’s expenses. Now you are probably wondering to yourself, “of all places, states, and cities, why did she choose a state and city across the country away from her family, San Diego, California?” Well I’m glad you are wondering because I am going to tell you.

During my senior year of college, I got accepted for an internship at a news station in Honolulu. Now how I got that internship, is a whole different story in itself, but we are going to stick to basics here, which is why I chose California and how I got involved with the man I am married to now. On my way to Hawaii with my mom, we both stopped in San Diego to visit a friend for a couple of days. Needless to say, I knew the moment I got off that plane and stepped on California soil, I knew it was home for me. Being there for the first time felt natural, calming, and peaceful. I knew from that moment I wanted to go back and I wanted to build a life there. At the time I did not know how I was going to do, but I knew I would happen eventually.

Anyway, back to my story! I had my dates lined up for when I was moving and my plane tickets already purchased and ready to go! Then it all backfired, my living conditions did not go as planned or as I had imagined it to go, and I had to cancel everything. I had already left my job at Planet Fitness and could not even get it back! Not only that, by this time I had been talking to Shawn for nearly three months. Those three months, him and I had grown closer to one another and developed strong feelings for each other. So now here I am again, back where I started. I failed at pursuing my dream job again, I had formed a relationship with someone I had never even met in person yet, and on top of that, I was jobless.

However, strangely, it was not the rejection of wanting to pursue my dream career that hurt me the most. No no….it was the relationship that I formed with Shawn thousands of miles away that broke me to tears. Deep down, I knew I wanted to be with him more than I wanted anything else. From my perspective, I fell in love with someone that I would never have the chance to be with, and it was because of that I was ready to give up on us. It just didn’t seem realistic to me to have kept holding on to something that I never interacted with in person. 

However, he did not take no or giving up for an answer. He wanted me, he wanted us, and he invited me to come out to California to meet him. I kept my original plane ticket and he purchased a one-way ticket back home for me, and I flew out to California to meet a guy that I never knew would turn out to be mine forever. Now, I know what you’re thinking…”this bitch is crazy,” and you are absolutely correct! You damn right I am, because any woman who marries a Marine, in opinion is a crazy yet well grounded woman!

Although it was risky to fly out and meet someone that I have never met before, it was absolutely worth it! Shawn turned out to be everything that I ever prayed for. I visited him in California for about two weeks, and those two weeks turned into some of the best parts of my life. I fell in love with it all!  A new city, new state, and a new life…the military life. Little did I know that at that time this man would become my forever and that this life that I live now would mold me into such an ambitious strong woman.

When it was time for me to leave and return home to Pennsylvania, I cried like a baby. I had such a fantastic time with Shawn and in California, that I was not ready to come home. I think that was the first time I ever felt a sense of anticipation of loss. Upon returning home, I received news about myself. News that turned out to be something way more that I was unprepared to hear and deal with. Six weeks after returning home, I found out that I was pregnant. He’s in California, I am in Pennsylvania, all it took was one time to be with him, and I come back home pregnant…shit…now what do I do?